This weekly twork* is part of our series to make work better together - get it direct to your inbox.
If you’re a regular follower of our (almost) weekly ‘Tworks’, you’ll know that we are no strangers to outlining how workplace stress is on the rise, not just in Ireland, but across the globe.
With so much going on in the world, our work and personal lives intertwining and as technology and connectedness blur our boundaries, it’s not surprising people are more switched on than ever. This is helping facilitate overwhelming levels of stress and burnout among employees across the world.
As leaders, we need to address this, not only for our well-being but also for the productivity, creativity and morale of our teams.
Taking the reigns of control
Part of why we're stressed at work is down to our ability to prioritise, to say no, to gain control, and to find the areas that we can control. When we feel in control, we are much less likely to feel stressed or we will at least feel in control of that stress and be in a position to manage it!
The American Psychological Association found that people who feel they have control over their work, report lower levels of stress and higher job satisfaction, that’s all well and good but how do leaders, managers and team members tackle the feelings of lack of control at work?
The Twork: Replace "Can't" with "Won't"
Our tweak this week is a simple yet powerful mindset shift that can help reduce stress and regain control. Inspired by Marie Forleo’s book, "Everything Is Figureoutable" this ‘twork’ revolves around replacing the word "can't" with "won't."
Rather than saying "I can't do something", switching words and saying “I won’t” gives you control of the situation.
Why "Won't" Works
Often, we feel overwhelmed because we believe we can't do something. In effect, we are telling ourselves we have no control of the situation, that it is out of our hands. Endless sources of information and ways to be connected and contacted add to this feeling that we are constantly on the verge of overwhelm.
When we tell ourselves, "I can't take on this project," "I can't go on this work trip," or "I can't make the pizza and beers social event on Friday." The word ‘can’t’ reinforces a sense of helplessness and lack of control.
Let’s work through this as an example -
“I can’t go on this work trip” - You may feel you are missing an opportunity, that you are letting people down, that it’s out of your control. You may feel overobligated and a little sour that you were put in the position where you had to say no. Let’s say the reason you had to say no was a family obligation, maybe the kids are on school holidays and you’ve been away a lot already and it feels like too much to go again. You may even feel a little resentment towards your family and partner, after all they are the reason you have to say no.
By switching to "I won't," we acknowledge that we are making a choice. This simple switch helps you take control of your decisions, reinforcing that you have the power to prioritise and set boundaries.
“I won’t go on this work trip”. I’ve decided that I’ve been away enough and I am choosing to sit this one out. I understand the consequences and have decided I am more comfortable with saying no than going away again.
👆actual transcript from my own thought process when I decided to curtail my work travel.
No matter what it is, try switching can’t with won’t with the things we tell ourselves (or others) to make active decisions.
Here’s another example to work with:
Maybe you’ve been in a situation where you think “I can’t switch off my work phone at weekends” Switch to - ➡️ ”I won’t switch off my work phone at weekends. I have decided it’s something I want to do to manage my reputation at work. My job could be in jeopardy if I’m not always contactable. This has an impact on my relationships, stress levels and energy levels but I’m ok with that.”
In this case, by switching “can’t” with “won’t” and reasoning, you’ve made an active decision and acknowledged it is a choice within your control.
“Won’t” helps you set clearer boundaries
Sometimes, even the thought process of replacing “can’t” with “won’t” also makes you realise you have a choice, rather than being out of control. It makes you see the narrative you’ve created may not be as real as you think or that you will make a different decision.
In the example above, maybe you realise that your job isn’t in jeopardy if you switch off your work phone at weekends. If something is truly urgent enough you will be contacted. So you switch off all notifications other than priority contacts. Or one or two key people have your personal number for emergencies only. It helps you set clearer boundaries, make more informed decisions and feel more in control.
The act of defining these limits doesn't just affect your immediate work environment; it also improves your overall well-being by reducing anxiety and burnout.
Understanding and communicating your boundaries effectively you can ensure that your colleagues respect your space and time, fostering a healthier, more respectful work culture.
Assess and clarify your priorities or values: Take a moment to evaluate what truly matters in your work and personal life. Identify tasks and commitments that are most aligned with your goals and values.
Make conscious choices: When faced with a decision, consciously choose to say "I won't" instead of "I can't." Self-efficacy (researched by psychologist Alber Bandura) is about believing in your ability to handle challenges and achieve goals.
It’s like having a superpower that tells you, “You’ve got this!” When we switch up our language from “I can’t” to “I won’t,” we're boosting our self-efficacy. This small change reinforces our sense of agency, our power to influence our own life's script. By affirming “I won’t,” we take ownership of our decisions and actions, which boosts our confidence and calms our stress.
Communicate clearly: Explain your choices and the reasons behind them. This transparency can foster a culture of prioritisation and mutual respect.
Encourage your team: Share this Twork with your team and encourage them to adopt it. Help them understand the power of making conscious choices and taking control of their decisions.
Join the Movement
We’d love to hear how this Twork works for you and your team. Share your stories and tips on how replacing "can't" with "won't" has helped you regain control and reduce stress. Together, we can make work better, one small ‘twork’ at a time.
Sign up to our weekly ‘Twork’ newsletter to get these simple ‘Tworks’ to your work, directly to your inbox!
Take care and stay well!
Michelle Wallace
Founder
A Better Work
At A Better Work we work with our clients to make work better and more fulfilling. It's not about happiness, it's about feeling a sense of accomplishment, and building teams that work brilliantly together in good times and bad.
If you want to elevate your team's performance while creating a more engaged work environment. Check out our new ‘Strengths-Based Teams Development Programme’ which gives you the tools and strategies to unlock your team's true potential.
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Let’s make work better together.
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